It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Drake has all the answers
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
