I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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