I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
