Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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