This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
