Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
