I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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