i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
