put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize