if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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