The maid of honor just puked.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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