Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize