Kiss
Puke
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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