i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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