Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
