I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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