Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
