his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
