Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If that was your dad, he is hot
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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