I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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