Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
