Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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