Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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