I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
