whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
