The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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