I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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