Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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