Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
