oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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