I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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