singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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