remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
