I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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