I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
