i barfeds in our rink
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
