yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
