so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize