I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
