He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
