Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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