When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
