we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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