He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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