sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
