i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
