Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
