Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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