Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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