you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm at about main and main street
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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