Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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