You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
