I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
