Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize