Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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