Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
