how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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