If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
