Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
