walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I deserve this hangover.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize