im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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