do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
