Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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