You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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