So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
