I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You're a waste of cheezeits
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
